I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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