apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
