Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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