is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
