is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
