I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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