I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
