did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
