where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
