i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
