Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
