I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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