tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
