ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
