hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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