But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
