if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
