Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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