i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
