New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Randomize
