Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
