Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
