when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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