As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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