No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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