he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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