Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
