i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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