It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
there is puke in my bra ... again
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
