All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
