Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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