i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
