Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
