Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
