ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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