belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Is Oprah even human
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
