Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
