Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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