another moral hangover. fuck.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
