just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
