theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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