I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
