im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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