i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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