what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
