i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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