Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You left your phone here
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