This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
