the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My vagina is very pro this idea
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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