I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
