Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
