Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
it glows. i had to have it.
i drank out of a bidet.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
